Some Recent Happenings.

Aloha, Konbanwa.
Yesterday, I found myself walking around five miles from the city centre to Joe's house. I don't tend to move that much in a day, so don't ask me why, I just sometimes do stupid things.

Though, something I'd noticed on the way was although massive music festival, Escape in the Park was blaring away in Singleton, no-one seemed to actually be inside, rather it became rapidly apparent Escapee's had chosen to sit in awkward places anywhere and everywhere, casually getting wrecked.
It was worrying to find that lunchtime had barely passed us by and people were already far from sober, highly intoxicated on various alcoholic beverages and the rare heat of the Sun. We were lucky enough to accidentally cause interaction with a trio of such people:

Picture the scene, myself and Joe are making our merry way to his house, but, behold!
Some tasty looking scones were scattered across the pathway, so I innocently kicked one, watching in trivial amusement as it rolled it's little way along the promenade. A voice bellowed from my left:

"Oh! Oh! Don't kick my scone!"

I looked over to see a can-clasping drunk, obviously angered at my scone abuse.
I was totally unaware that scones were a protected species, though I'm left asking myself if he didn't want the scone to be subjected to members of the general public, why did he throw it on the floor?
Why don't you come and eat it?

I laughed it off, hoping I wasn't about to be jumped for smacking a Scottish snack.
I carried on walking with Joe at a slightly increased speed, in the distance one of the others shouted:

"He's walking away! Make him acknowledge you!"

No, no, don't make me acknowledge you.

But pathway-dwelling, scone-throwing drunkards aside, Joe pointed out to me that along the route to Mumbles, various installments had been constructed to form an assault course. Obviously for some bizarre reason the City Council thought it would be a fantastic idea for those members of Swansea who just cannot curb their urges to exercise. Just like their brilliant idea to implement bending buses, causing the epic strangulation of the transport system - But that's another story.

Essentially, each little fun filled installation, has a different physical task to perform, depicted by a small plaque, I couldn't help but take a picture of this one, because I'm childish and found it hysterical:

Children passing by are graphically taught sexual acts.

After arriving at Joe's unharmed and dousing my stomach with iced drinks, I continued with my weekend in the usual fashion, waving at fluorescent pink clad lasses and pirates from the window aswell as fattening up with stolen goods from the kitchen, sleeping, actually attempting to finish Zelda and overseeing Joe's retro session of Pokemon on the surprisingly still functional Game Boy Color we dug out of the cupboard.

Good stuff.

***

Totally from topic, but I thought purely for the memory, this was worth an "Honourable Mention" - I recently had the wonderful pleasure of assisting in putting together Jonny's new desk.

You see, when I am invited to Jonny's house, it's never because we're good friends and he just wants someone to babble with, oh no. No, I'm invited to Jonny's to relieve boredom or to assist with secret tasks that I don't know I've entered myself into yet. It's like walking through his front door is a legally binding contract.

So, I'm called over and as I walk up the stairs my eyes caught a glimpse of some boxes, I shot a fleeting look at Jonny, I already knew what was coming.

"Sam! Seeing as you're here, want to put together a desk?"

It ends with a question mark, but it's actually a statement.
So, we took the boxes to the attic and our roles immediately assigned themselves.
I took control of logic, such as what fits into what, because if Jonny was left to his own devices to put the desk together himself, his new room would look like an art gallery installation with parts of shelving embedded a few inches into the walls.
Jonny armed himself with the power drill and a German accent.

Now, being the driving force behind logic for the day, I opened the first box, expecting the first couple of pieces and perhaps more importantly the instructions. However, I was greeted with a series of MDF slabs each with a small lettered sticker to identify them. There was no sign of a flimsy, pictorial coated guide which would somehow, through its poor English and ambiguous directions leave us with the finished desk, and for a terrifying moment, I thought that we were about to be left to put three large boxes worth of various sized MDF pieces together with only the two dimensional black outline of the completed product on the box as a guide.

But, we found the instructions - logically stored in the last box - and to be fair, they were much better than your regular IKEA instructions - Which are essentially, two dimensional black outlines of the product where the only hint of help is a confused looking comedic character smiling whilst clutching what appears to be a direct dedicated phone line to IKEA, which never seems to be included in the box within the midst of Allen Keys. Thank you, IKEA...

Progress on the desk was kept going with sheer determination because neither of us wanted to lose to a pile of lettered MDF fragments and after around three hours of Jonny shouting in German, trying to overpower my Russian accent, the desk was complete, minus one screw.

Another triumph.

Sam.
Mood of the Day: Deskily-Tired
Listening To: Before - Vicious Delicious
Current Theory: Desk Building Is More Time Consuming Than Previously Thought.
Quote of the Moment: "Hey Agitha, why don't you come up here and meet my Dominion Rod?"
Joe Quality Assurance Rating: 9/8 [Super-Epic]*

* Whether Joe is too afraid to rate this blog with anything lower than a seven, or if the blog is actually pretty good is up to you.