Another Comeback.

Aloha, Konbanwa.
Faint cheering echoes in the distance. The few who are left appreciate the great return of Sam to the empty world that is the Revived Realm of Babbling, which, by now, should really be the Re-Revived Realm of Babbling. But if you came here to moan about technicalities, perhaps you'd rather check out any other blog than mine. Your hit has already been counted, it's up to you.

It's once again been a long time since my last post, the blog seems to be a seasonal thing, with more blog-time going on during Summer:

Now of course, I don't want to bore you with every tiny happening since last year because we've all got better things to do, I have toast to make, TV to watch, college work to pretend to complete and fat to gain sitting in my chair basking in nothingness.

So I'll keep it - as Joe advised me - "short and sweet".
Which, as cliche it is to say, I've always thought as an odd saying... Short and sweet...
This is useful when I'm catering posts and other textual work to an audience of dictionary-eaters.
Because their complex diet includes words and wow, they should stop eating them, because they're "Oh so sweet." On the other hand, I could stop typing and they'd be thin. Another world problem solved? Tough.

Edit: Though, Joe, who has been temporarily appointed as my Quality Controller has just told me the post isn't long or detailed enough. So I apologize if this has become a full blown life story sized post.

So, casting your mind back, we left off in August of last year with GCSE Predictions flying around in all directions and everyone in a general panic of imminent failure - Where at the moment they receive their results, a vortex would appear and swallow them into a permanent crummy job where they will spend their time attempting to make ends meet and shouting at a dodgy sky box whilst their children will play outside like the other kids, enjoying favoured UK pastimes such committing arson, terrorizing old people, heavily drinking Red-Bull-White-Lightning-Combo's and creating more spawn.

Though... Surprise Surprise, no-one failed. The world didn't end.

And obviously, myself and Bev kept our promise and hit Starbucks before heading for our grades half an hour late, clutching our still warm beverages and muffins - Dedicated 'til the end.
Although, the very reason I like to spend time at Starbucks may JUST be the very reason my bank account is empty, but hey, who's pointing fingers?*

The Starbucks Resultees... Resulting.

You may or may not be interested in the final grades but this is my blog and I can do what I like. So, here they are incase you were running some sort of worldwide sweepstake in which case, I'm expecting a share in profits - and best of luck to you, here we go:

English Language: A
English Literature: A
Maths: A
Science: A\A
Geography: A
French: B
IT: A*
Drama: A*

I'd somehow managed to get away with using literally, three or four totally made up quotes in the Literature exam on the basis of "...that sounds like something that character would say."
Aswell as passing off some terrible Rollercoaster-Related story and a rushed magazine article feigning enthusiasm in exercise for teenagers as A-grade material.

I spent about ten minutes or so dancing in circles around my Drama teacher waving some jazz hands of glory as just weeks before she'd told everyone in "Team Fish's" "Fish! The Musical"** would fail due to our obvious lack of effort.
Which, thinking back may have been a fair enough comment... We spent the first few months of the given time to create our final piece making up fake scenes that we'd never actually use in our play whilst at the same time entertaining ourselves such as the lovingly named "Mental Home Scene" where Tom and myself rocked back and forth on chairs muttering past wives names and insulting passers by, or the "Audition Scene, Version One" where we got James to sing the line

"I feel pretty... Oh so pretty... I feel pretty and witty... And gay."

We were entertained.
It's impressive we managed it, considering our script was written just over a week before the final piece was due onstage and we thought all hope was lost after we never actually completed a full run through of the script before the exam.
However; we pulled it off, received a standing ovation on the Open Evening and managed to pull nearly 100minutes of unique Studio8-Style comedy out of the air.

And I achieved the A grade in Maths required to shout back "Who's On Track For A C Now?".
My Math teacher is still using me as an example of how not to treat the course... Handing in coursework the day it was due, sleeping during class, hiding under tables, attempting to steal cooling fans, shouting out the window, talking to Russians hiding in the ceiling and so on...

French was probably the biggest surprise though, the pass grade percentiles must have been a joke... I mean c'mon, I threatened to leave the Oral Exam, it was THAT bad - The horror of which, is revisitable here.

All in all, pretty good for someone who spent each morning of his terminal year oversleeping and running in casually late, by an hour.

***

After a short few weeks spent at the beach or at Joe's; continuing my duties of eating all of his food and screaming random words with the "Mc" prefix out of his McWindow, the college fiasco began... With forms, interviews, tests, more forms, too much walking around and the loss of my record file causing the whole process to repeat again, with more walking I was in college, taking Interactive Media, Computing and Maths.
Though, I later dropped Computing because the amount of coursework for 30% of the course was mindblowingly stupid and at the pace I like to work, it was not a viable option to stay on all three courses. I spent the next three months avoiding my Ex-Computing-Lecturer, who I didn't actually speak to since dropping the course, this type of impressive avoiding-ninjary involved diving under tables, jumping down stairwells, hiding behind coke machines and other overly pointless cover operations.

Though as it stands; college as a place to hang out has turned out to be pretty amazing, with a whole bunch of new people to generally embarrass myself infront of:

Sam fights Matt for his shoe infront of the terrified common room onlookers.

College, as a place to work however... Is for another day.
I'll leave the world sink in.

Sam.
Mood of the Day: Return-ful?
Listening To: General Sounds of an Open Window
Current Theory: Summer = Blogging.
Quote of the Moment: "I think the world leader has no friends" - Joe, on the thirteen second time at the top of the Mario Kart leaderboard
Joe Quality Assurance Rating: 7/8 [Enjoyable]

* I am. Damn Starbucks and their overly priced but damn tasty choice of iced and hot beverages including their tasty range of cakes to eat in or out on the street in front of tramps and onlooking urban-birds.

** For those wondering by the way, Fish! The Musical, despite the name, was not a musical. But I'll leave the long explanation for another post. It really is a long, bizarre story.